Living in a fiction

I lost myself in a new world today. Filled with bursting, thrilling and french-kissing-sore-lips love. How you can feel it in every vein, a longing, a tickling sensation over your skin. When you close your eyes, it’s there, lost in your mind.

I was lost in my mind for five hours. And then reality struck with the harshness of an email. A stomach-turned-inside-out-pain kind of email. I don’t want it anymore. Please stop. It’s too much. I want to jump right back into my crazy love story.

A fiction I paste onto my own life. A fiction I dream about. A fiction I want to be my reality. I’ve so many times started and never finished to tell our love story. The whirlwind we were. The pain we felt. The craziness we throw at each other. The wanting, needing, the unstoppable sensation when you touched my skin. How I still feel your lips. How you changed my world. How we destroyed our lives with lies, drugs and deliberately caused pain.

How, after all this time, my heart skips a beat every time I lay my eyes on you.

I’ve tried to tell our story. I’ve failed every time. Perhaps one day. It’s a love story like no one else.


I read blogs, contemplate on life, postpone work I’ve to do. Time is 21.58. My neighbours smokes pot. Third joint this evening. I am happy. My life is, complete – sort of at least. Yes I want things, and adventures, and people, and mini mes in my life I don’t have at the moment. But to be fair, the things one miss is mostly made up of habits. The habit of a goodnight text, or walking up next to ones significant other, the habit of drinking beer with friends, the habit of playing games. And so on. All habits can be replaced.

I don’t know, I don’t really need bad habits in my life. But I love to care, and invest all my head, heart and soul into what I’ve in front of me – be that a person or a project. I want it all.


I’ve not bee here for ages. Life took a turn and I ended up right were I started. Sort of. I’m back in Stockholm. Back home, like it was yesterday. New place, new job, old streets, better life. I’ve an appetite for life I’ve longed for. Please, don’t kill my vibe.

Be right back – got to do some work.

A weekend celebrating spring and life

A barley took any pictures from my visit to Stockholm and the archipelago. I had no time, too much fun. And too much fun sums pretty much up my life these last few weeks.

It all started on the last Friday of april, the 29th of april. We met up at Strongroom, this pub with a great outdoors space, or more of a yard actually. All my best people dropped in one after one, we talked about the week that’s gone by – as you do on Fridays. After a couple of beers we headed over to another pub to say hi to a friend and his visiting family. It was literally across the street. We moved on to Translate for some groovy dance moves and drinks. They usually play great music, but not this night. So I jumped into an Über and endued up at NT’s opening night. Like all the cool kids. I danced, met a girl on the terrace. We talked till the first rays of the sun warmed our faces. Then I walked home, met my flat mate in the kitchen and we went trough her relationship. More often than not I start to really like being single.

On Saturday, the last day of April, I met up with Adam, Elin and Amalia down on Broadway Market. We had rosé wine in the sun. You know, the first really warm spring sun and how happy it makes you?! Yes, this was exactly that day. When the sun moved so did we, over to NT’s. Again. With champagne in our hands we met new friends, had truffle chips and danced to in the afternoon sun. At NT’s they have these really big industrial windows, a perfect location for a music video. If there ever was one we would surely make the main event of said music video. There was so much pure joy in the air, as it is when you celebrate spring and life. In the evening we made our ways home to The Village, had a pizza and then crashed in bed before 10pm. Daytime parties are the only parties worth having (it’s not really true, but to 55%).


On Sunday, the first day of May and a bank holiday Sunday, we continued the festivities!

Pizza in the park (I was not in my finest condition) and then over to N360 and the rooftop of my dreams. After some cocktail popsicles we were all back on track again. Random friends dropped by and are small group grew into an eleven people squad, which I later on presented to the doorman at NT’s as “me and my squad”. Obviously. We made our ways up the stairs and out onto the terrace. Having the banter of our lives.


In the evening almost all of us walked the short distance (it’s ten minutes) to The Village and The Lauriston for some crazy karaoke rumble. It basically works like this: 1, pick a song. 2, go up on a stage. 3, hope you choose a crowdpleaser and the crowd does not boo you off the stage. I did not sing. I booed, and occasionally cheered. And had another beer. As you do. After we left, we made pasta in Adam’s kitchen and I was in bed before midnight. Daytime parties.

Next thing that happened: I fly off to Sweden for an unexpected archipelago treat. But it’s another story.

Sunday Funday

At the moment I’m chilling in my bed, just have watched the latest episode of Game of Thrones, my window is open and it’s so hot, steamy and summery. I’m listening to Veronica Maggio’s latest album, which I really like.

Yesterday, Sunday, we had park chill all day. Brunch at the Pavilion in Victoria Park and then met up with some friends for just listen to music, having a beer in the sun, taking a nap. Those lazy days. In the late afternoon there was another park and another group of people. So I made my way to Hackney Downs Park instead, to meet up with Simone and Hanna.

Simone and Hanna !

We shared some strawberries, dreams and warm wine in the sun. A day you don’t want to end, so we gathered a group of friends for a Sunday BBQ party, how great are Sundays?!

SundayFunday080516_4 SundayFunday080516_5SundayFunday080516_8 SundayFunday080516_9 SundayFunday080516_10

We drank sangria that never ended, made new friends and fell in love with old ones. When the food was ready I was so hungry it literally was a hole in my tummy. As you do with BBQ’s, we put everything on the fire. So tasty!


Later on, when the night continued and we danced around the table, new friends arrived and the sun slowly went away to comeback for the next day. However, we are young and have fire in our hearts so there were time for new adventures. SundayFunday080516_11

London was still and quiet when the club closed, but we were happy, been dancing to some old tunes everyone sang along to. With no jacket on I walked home trough a Hackney on the verge of summer. SundayFunday080516_12


The one day trip…

I will tell you all about ‘the best bank holiday ever’ soon, but first: I’m still in Stockholm, my one day trip to Sweden turned into a party and, easily convinced as I am, I stayed. And now I spend my day walking the streets I know, and bumping into the people I know.

Everything is sort of splendid and very beautiful, Stockholm – the air is clean(er) and the sea is so, so present, and everyone is so damn fucking pretty! I seriously believe swedes, in general, are the pretties people in the word. Now I need to buy a t-shirt because what I’m wearing, a formal shirt, is not really my thing for three days in a row.

IMG_1610I love London like crazy, it is the best place in the world. But, Stockholm feels more like, home.

A well kept secret

Somedays I go to the Deli two streets away, the play classic music or some very sweet soft jazz all day. And for moments, this smal place gets totally overcrowded in seconds, like it’s the only place to be, and then as if someone waved a wand it’s super quiet again. The staff are joking around and are ever so friendly. deli_1

If I don’t pay straight away I always forget it and have to go back. Two out of two times its happened. Once I didn’t notice I skipped pay my breakfast until I went back in the afternoon for a flat white – they do great coffee, great coffee. The other time I started to walk back home to pick up my headphones and I was ‘shit, I did it again…’. Now I’ve spent the better part of my day here, trying to find a proper job, making up my mind about the future and procrastinating, drinking lemonade and becoming one of the hipsters of the area. I have my hat on!

This is a very interesting little village in the east corner of London. Not really the corner, it’s still only in zone two, but it’s a well kept secret, as if very few people knows about its existing. There’s only locals at all the places around. And all the places are great, the deli, the sourdough pizza pub, the fancy pub, the vietnamese restaurant, the café and all the others, they are great. Good food, nice and friendly staff, interesting locals, and better friends. No, I’ve to continue on my to do-list.


Beyond The Wall

This country, the lands of the Queen, is more or less an episode beyond The Wall of Westeros. I HAVE NEVER BEEN THIS COLD IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. NEVER. Not even the day in the Swedish Fjäll when it was -30 (probably mostly because we stayed in…). But it’s so cold here, I barely can’t take it anymore. I freeze when I go to bed and I freeze when I wake up. Its warmer outdoors than indoors. Someone has totally not understand the purpose of houses.


And I can go on and on and on about all the things I’m equally unhappy with. But let’s not. Because I can’t take one more day with ridiculous politics; brexiters or remainers. Stupid PMQs more fitting a reality show than the most powerful room in all of the Queen’s land. And please, don’t let me get started on flat sharing. This abomination of adult living. I miss my home. But let’s not talk about all of that. There are greater things ahead, I hope. Warmer at least. Summer should be coming.

I want to talk about daytime parties, warm evening winds that softly plays with the tree branches. Music. I love music, can always talk about music.

Familj och Londonfamilj

På söndagen sov vi lite längre, helt klart välförtjänt. Och solen tittade fram, jag blir ju glad för mindre saker. VI hoppade på tåget till Liverpool St, för att inte lämna deras väskor där. Det var så dumt, en kunde bara betala för tre eller tjugofyra timmar, vi hade behövt typ fyra timmar. Och tjugofyra timmar var dubbelt så dyrt. Så vi släpade med väskorna till Flower Market på Columbia Road, vilket var lite av en surrealistisk upplevelse. Det var för mycket folk för att kunna gå framåt, och för mycket folk för att kunna stanna och titta. Men det var intressant. Borde ha fler blommor på mitt rum, nu har jag bara en vissen påsklilja.

Jag snappade mer än jag fotade så blev inga bilder från den här dagen. Vi åt lunch på Franco Manca på Broadway Market innan jag vinkade av min familj på Liverpool St. Så sorgligt. Jag gick hem och var en crybaby. För att inte försmäkta i min ensamhet hade jag styrt middag med min Londonfamilj på kvällen. Först tog jag och Seb en drink på Hector & Noble för att vänta på Annie, sen begav vi oss till Boxpark och mötte upp några fler. Det är en av de saker jag gillar så mycket med London, en möts bara upp och det är helt naturligt. Stockholm är mer, stängda till sina egna gäng.


Vi satt där tills det blev kallt och vårt bord var redo. I upphetsning skuttade vi (jag) bort till Redchurch St och den hemliga rooftopen jag hittat! Det är min bästa grej, hitta bra ställen som få vet om. Eller i alla fall hitta bra ställen. Det här var helt galet bra. Magi. Och skaldjursplatå till halva priset, total inklusive allt £15 ! Helt klart värt.


Och med en solnedgång över London i bakgrunden var den dagen över.

En kalasdag !

Vi tog en tidig kväll och fortsatte vår family weekend nästan i ottan på lördagen. Okej, tio är inte i ottan, men med ett snålblåsigt och fuktigt London känns alla tider att lämna sängen för tidiga. När jag mötte upp min familj utanför deras hotell, The Old Ship, började vi promenera mot Broadway Market för lite flanerande och spatserande. Trots duggregnet spenderade vi ungefär två timmar innan det var dags för fika. Den bästa av svenska traditioner. Jag tog med dem till Violet som ligger en bit upp men är supermysig och har väldigt gott kaffe. Gott kaffe är helt klart viktigt.


Efter att ha värmt oss med cupcakes och kaffe hoppade vi på bussen till British Museum för att undersöka allt mitt nya landsfolk har snott med sig på sina upptäcktsresor. Min pappa sammanfattade stora delar av museet med ‘Har de inget annat än sten…?’ Vilket var en väldigt relevant fråga. De här Britterna har verkligen kånkat med sig enorma statyer, väggar, och helar rum i sten. Intressant, men väldigt mycket. Trötta som bara den satte vi oss på närmsta pub för öl och lunch. Vilket var exakt vad vi behövde.

På kvällen mötte vi upp Sebastian i the village (området där jag bor) på Hector & Noble och sen vidare till Vu Viet tvärsöver gatan. Galet god mat! Lite sjukt att jag knappt behöver gå mer än hundra meter för att äta på de bästa restorangerna i London.

Jag gillar groupies !
Jag gillar groupies !

Efter middagen tog jag och Sebastien med min bror på en rejäl hemmafest – något som snappades ordentligt.

Dan var där !
Dan var där !

Helt klart en kalasdag!